Show me a successful entity that is not proud about its self or what it does and I’ll show you a liar, or a lunatic… or both. If you are not proud of what you sell, why the hell will the buyers buy? Isn’t humble Marlboro Man, a contradiction of terms? The consumer is not a Moron, He is your wife. PR helps stoke this sense of pride – for God, Country and Coca-Cola!
In this world of perfectly competitive markets, it’s the product differentiation that helps the winners stand head and shoulders above the also-rans. In plain-speak, it’s the envy that you and your brand instill in the hearts of everyone else, urging them to mimic you, buy your stuff. Kindness, is dole. Remember the adage, “flattery can be bought, but envy must be earned”? Well, it is PR’s job make them go green so that you may count the green-back’s forever.
Civilisation is about excesses, about biting off more than you can chew, about that extra French fry in the Happy Meal of Life. We want more of everything in every slice, what actually drives us on the path of advancement. How else did Man get out of his hunger-gatherer existence? Through abstinence? Bunkum! Let the world wonder, “Upon what meat doth this our Caesar feed, that he is grown so great?” PR can help you raise a toast to your hunger, for more.
He, who dies with the most number of toys, wins. Toys, that make Pavlov’s Dog salivate. Toys, that tickle the most basic, basest of instincts. Toys, to lust for. Toys, that the world will give an arm and a leg to possess, so that you can give the world Chastity’s middle finger. PR helps the kernel of lust to become the mighty Oak it is destined to be. A Trophy-Wife that will give you the refuge that you seek.
Anger is not good for the faint hearted or the wimps. Exactly the kind of excuses you abhor. You, who has come this far by the dint of your talent. You, who is entitled to spew lava because you expect lesser mortals to live up to the exacting standards that you set for them. You are in a hurry to achieve the impossible, why let patience spoil things? PR can help you justify your anger and hammer in as to exactly why it is the sacred duty of everyone else to submit to the all consuming fire of your fury.
Greed is good. Period. In all its Wall Street dominating, Gordon Gekko swagger. Its hunger that drives the corporate world and when the fire in the belly dies, entities just wither away to oblivion, or get gobbled up by predators, inglorious bastards. No. Let greed drive us on to greater glories and Liberality be damned for all its tuppance. PR can help you satiate your greed for the good. OK?
Habitually disinclined to exertion? Hindered in righteous undertakings that the weak-kneed call a terrible source of undoing? Well, inertia – inactivity in doing what one is duty-bound may be an affliction for the ordinary Earthlings, not you. Besides, why pay the ransom for Due-Diligence if you have to bother about it? PR can make your sloth look like Diligent Inactivity, spinning tall tales about the method in your indolence.
What is a Saint, but a Sinner, revised, edited and PR-ed?